A Season of Change…
When I sat down this week to start writing my next article, I felt the need to speak from my heart a little bit and talk about mental health. It’s a new season around here…and I don’t strictly mean that it’s summer. And while I love summer and all the wonderful hours of sunlight we get to enjoy, what I’m really talking about is a change in this season of life. I’ve been seeing a lot of chatter online recently about recognizing, acknowledging, and learning to give yourself grace as these different seasons of life come your way. Some seasons are about growth and gaining knowledge. Some are about rest and contemplation. And some, like the one I’m in now, are all about change. No season is without its hardships, but each season is yours, whether you like it or not. So you can either hold on for dear life or grab the reigns and control what you can…your mindset.
Change can have a huge impact on your mental health. I remember the struggles I had when we moved onto our boat that first year. I was so excited to leave work and take time off to travel. It was something we had been planning for a very long time. I had zero sailing experience and less than zero knowledge when it came to owning and maintaining a boat. No amount of YouTube videos can prepare you for what it’s actually like to live and travel on a tiny sailboat with your husband and a super senior cat.
I didn’t realize it at the time but there were many moments where anxiety and sadness crept its way in during what was a most incredible adventure. How could I ever be sad when I got to wake up to turquoise waters and an island all to myself? It didn’t seem right. It’s also not something that you can easily lament about to your support system back home. It almost makes you feel like you are taking this beautiful trip for granted. It wasn’t until several months in that I started to realize why I was sometimes struggling mentally. What I had prepared for was a season of mental rest and adventure, but what I was handed was a season of growth and change.
I went from working as a pharmacist in a job that I felt secure and confident about, a job that I felt I did really well, to the job of first mate…a job I really sucked at! I couldn’t sail. I couldn’t remember the names of all the different boat terms. I couldn’t remember which line did what. I couldn’t start the dinghy motor. I couldn’t fix our engine (or anything else!) when it acted up. I couldn’t even cook us a comforting meal to make up for my lack of knowledge…I didn’t cook on land, so I’m not sure why I expected to be able to cook on a boat. Feeling like I was doing a bad job (this was through no fault of my husband) really impacted my mental health in a way that I had never anticipated.
I say this not for sympathy, but more for an acknowledgement that it’s hard to handle change and challenges with grace. As a cruiser, you live a life that is ever changing. The wind blows in one direction and off you go. The people you meet along the way have their own path to follow and it might not be the same as yours, so off they go. Things break, plans change, the weather and current almost never cooperate…it’s a life of adapting to the circumstances. Some years you can travel and some years you have to take a break. It’s ok to live this wonderful cruising life and have a bad day (or week) when staying in bed sounds better than anything else. The two are not mutually exclusive.
Summer, at least here on the east coast, is a time of preparation for making your trip south in the fall. Or maybe you are hunkering down somewhere in the Caribbean, waiting out hurricane season before taking off again in the winter. For some of you, this will be your first cruising season (woo hoo!) but for others, you are salty sailors looking forward to this annual season. No matter what season you are in, take care of your mental health. Make it a priority so you can find the joy in as many moments as possible. That first year cruising was life changing, which is why we changed course and ended up living on our boat for the next 4 years!
Seasons are not forever, that’s why they are called seasons. They will come and go. Some stay longer than others. Some pass by so quickly we don’t notice them until they’re already gone. The seasons we love are fleeting and the seasons we struggle with seem to stick around for way too long. I want you to know that you are not alone in whatever feelings you are having about cruising, living on a boat, leaving your friends and family and life on land behind. They are all valid feelings.
So back to this new season of change that I am working hard to embrace with open arms…we no longer live on our boat. We are adjusting to life on land in a house for the first time in 5 years. I am embarking on a new career path that I am very excited about. We are learning to juggle working from home and caring for our son between the two of us. Our son is now a toddler – talk about change right there!
And the most exciting and important change we have happening in this season of wonderful changes is a new baby on the way! Yep, we are going to need a bigger boat!
